Author: Sana Rehman
What is Envy among Siblings?
Envy is a feeling of
discontented aroused by siblings' luck, possession, or quality. The envy among
siblings has become a very alarming issue in the current time. Many awful,
terrible, and nasty incidents have been seen regarding envy towards siblings on
media. However, it is very important to identify the causes and ways to reduce
envy among siblings. The common causes and ways to overcome envy are listed
below.
What are the Causes of
Envy
The causes of Envy are important to address so that recommendations can be identified. The following points are the fundamental causes of Envy.
Birth order. The birth order among
sibling influences the personality patterns. It has been observed through
literature those firstborn children are more confident and dominating compared
to the other siblings. While the younger one found to be more stubborn,
outspoken, and aggressive compare to the middle child. Besides, the middle
child often manifests a shy, even-tempered, and spoiled baby. The feeling of
envy developed when they do not get the environment according to their needs
and personality demand.
Unfair Comparisons. Sometimes sibling
starts hating each other due to making unfair comparisons. They do not
understand their individual difference and want to get all the qualities and
advantage the other sibling gets. For example, my sibling is more capable or
beautiful than me. He gets more love from parents compared to me. These kinds
of unfair comparisons lead to envy and hate among siblings.
Work pressure. Domestic work or work
for financial support is also a reason for developing envy among siblings. It
has been observed that if a sibling fulfills his work-oriented responsibilities
properly, but the other sibling doesn’t. This kind of conflict also leads to a
feeling of envy among siblings.
Family Influence. Sometimes family
develops a feeling of hate or envy among their children. The provision of more
academic and career opportunities to one child develops the hate of that
particular child. Sometimes a child or person gets more respect from family due
to his personality traits, as a result, the other sibling starts feeling
insecure. These insecurities further retransform in envy and other negative
emotions.
Parental Influence. Parental affection
towards one child is considered another important factor in developing envy
among other siblings. In a western culture like Pakistan, people either love
their talented or successful child or the most incapable child. The preference
and love for children vary from family to family. If parents love the incapable
child the hardworking child experiences disappointment and as a result
manifests negative feelings towards siblings. On the other hand, if a parent
loves only a capable child, then a less hardworking child manifests more envy
or feeling of hate towards other siblings.
Hitting Millstones. Sometimes one child of
the family achieves high milestones such as high academic grades, a good job,
or better carrier options. Such a milestone provides high attention from
relatives, family, and people. High achievement of one child often develops low
self-esteem among people and they start manifesting feelings of hatred.
How to Reduce Envy among
Siblings?
The feeling of envy
among siblings is very crucial to reduce for establishing healthy
relationships. There are certain ways to control envy towards siblings, which
are listed below.
Stop making Comparison. As mentioned above
unfair comparison among siblings by parents, relatives or self is a very common
cause. Therefore there is a need to avoid making a comparison in front of
siblings. On the parental level, the parents should understand that each child
is born with some special and unique characteristics. On a personal level,
children, adults, or adolescents need to understand that they have different
qualities and use their talent wisely to achieve their academic, career, or
personal goal. They also need to understand that envy is a very negative
feeling and blood relations are meant to be loved.
Divide work or
responsibility equally. Every sibling needs to understand their role and
responsibilities and perform their tasks persistently. The division of
responsibilities and work is very effective in establishing healthy or stable
relationships.
Remind positive traits. Usually, people start
hating their siblings because they do not know their positive traits.
Familiarity with personal traits or capabilities gives a sense of
self-confidence. As a result, one doesn’t feel insecure about the success of
other siblings. Not only familiarity but one should frequently
remind their positive traits to avoid the feeling of envy.
Love Yourself. Always accept and love
yourself, this s the only way to keep your mind positive. The people who do not
love themselves often shoe unkind behavior towards others. Love towards self
often develops the feeling of respect and affection for the other one. Hence in
this way envy can hate can be reduced.
Find
the special and alone time. Try
to spend quality time with each of your siblings. Quality time will help you to
establish mutual understanding. Mutual understanding would further help you to
accept your siblings regardless of all flaws or virtues. All these factors
would help to build a healthy relationship with siblings and overcome the
feeling of envy.